why haven’t i seen this yet…?
why haven’t i seen this yet…?
i could never live in london or the south fuck the south yorkshire/the north all the way
i live in west yorkshire… :)
i just laughed so fucking hard omg
this is why there was cheeto’s on the floor in toy story!!!!
A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!
this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.
i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.
For that last comment.
I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.
Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.
It got better.
i seem to have a lady-boner…
So my parents bought me this thing called the Selfie Stick
And pretty much you attach your phone to the stick and you can take pictures using the little clicker thing. So instead of taking photos like this:
I can take photos like this:
are you in your underwear…?
goats are literally Masters of Physics
The fourth dimension is not time.
It is goat.
im gonna fuck the ghost
do not fuck the ghost
…this is just ‘scary movie 2’ all over again…
If a catastrophe caused the Internet to crash, there are 7 people in the world who have keycards that can reboot the system when all 7 keys are used together. Source
It’s getting to the point where technology is indistinguishable from magic.
"Oh, no, the MASSIVE INTANGIBLE LIBRARY OF INFORMATION which allows humans all over the planet to communicate and share information has ceased functioning! Call upon the seven sages whom hold the artifacts which will repair it!"
Dude its even better than that, they have to journey to a certain location in america to combine their codes into the Master Code which can revive the internet.
whenEVER I’M SAD I WILL LOOK AT THIS POST AND BE HAPPY AGAIN